A couple of wise philosophers once stated; Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be .
And with that, I give you, IMHO, the 69 greatest sex scenes in movie history. Let’s start the countdown…
69. DIE ANOTHER DAY – We all know James Bond has sex. But this is the only time in nearly 50 years we actually see him having sex and it’s with Halle Berry!
68. EASTERN PROMISES – A very disturbing scene in which Viggo Mortensen’s character is forced to have sex with an underage Russian prostitute. What makes it such a good scene is the brilliant performance by Viggo.
67. THE END OF THE AFFAIR – Julianne Moore is going to be on this list quite a bit, since she is fearless in all her love scenes. Here she is having an affair with Ralph Fiennes during WWII. There first sex scene is pure passion.
66. FIGHT CLUB – A very unique sex scene with Brad Pitt and Helena Bonham Carter. Let’s remember, she has never been f—ed like that since grade school.
65. CHLOE – Say hi to Julianne Moore again! She hires Amanda Seyfried to seduce her husband, but ends up having an affair with Seyfriend.
64. THREESOME – Lara Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin and Josh Charles try to make a threesome into a relationship. The sex scene kind of looks like they are trying to turn 3 into 1.
63. REVENGE – Kevin Costner steals Madeleine Stowe away from a powerful crime boss and pays the price. The two actors have great chemistry in their love scenes and the movie shows how dangerous an affair can become.
62. GET CARTER – This 1971 movie invented phone sex. Michael Caine chats up his sexy girlfriend, played by blond beauty Britt Ekland.
61. REQUIEM FOR A DREAM – This crazy scene shows what drugs makes some people do. It’s Jennifer Connelly and, well, ass to ass. Not for the prudish.
60. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY – This was considered a sex scene back in the 50′s. It’s the classic beach scene with Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr.
59. BLOW-UP – Very controversial scene where a famous photographer takes advantage of his two underage “models”. For 1966, this was scandalous.
58. BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER – A very tender lesbian scene between a girl struggling with her sexual identity, and the other girl knowing who she is and what she likes.
57. BROWN BUNNY – Somehow actor/director Vincent Gallo convinced Chloe Sevigny to give him a BJ on camera for this film. It’s the only thing memorable about the movie.
56. TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE – Puppet sex. Enough said.
55. SECRETARY - Every male bosses fantasy…a secretary he can spank. Maggie Gyllenhall and James Spader dive deep into the world of office S&M.
54. TIE ME UP! TIE ME DOWN! – Antonio Banderas stars in this Spanish classic from Pedro Almodovar. This is what happens when sex mixes with the Stockholm Syndrome.
53. 300 – They needed this sex scene between Gerard Butler and Lena Headey, so we could forget about all the oiled up Greeks this movie hurls at us at all times.
52. Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN – An older woman teaches two young men how to make love. Gotta love Latin cinema!
51. COMING HOME – Jon Voight’s character comes back from Vietnam without the use of his legs. He proves to Jane Fonda, he doesn’t need his lower body to please her.
50. LEAVING LAS VEGAS – Nicholas Cage wants to drink himself to death, but hooker Elisabeth Shue brings him great sex and love instead.
49. CRUEL INTENTIONS – Ryan Phillipe takes Reese Witherspoon’s virginity in a very tender scene. For a movie about using sex as a weapon, this scene stands out for it’s love.
48. CALIGULA – This movie, during the day, shot scenes with classically trained actors. At night, they shot a porno. Not kidding. This was the first “main-stream” movie to add graphic sex including orgies, lesbianism and even…ewwww…incest.
47. ANGEL HEART – The sex scene between Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet (yes, Bill Cosby’s Lisa Bonet), was so controversial that back in 1987 they had a hard time finding a theater to show it.
46. MONSTER – Charlize Theron won an Oscar for her role as a lesbian serial killer. This scene with Christina Ricci is less about sex and more about two loners finding love.
45. THE RUNAWAYS – Twilight darling Kristen Stewart and Dakota “all grown up” Fanning, decide to enjoy the sexual lifestyle of the 1970′s rock scene.
44. SLIVER – Sharon Stone’s follow up to Basic Instinct has her taking off her panties in a restaurant, masterbating in a bathtub and having sex with a Baldwin brother.
43. THE GIRL NEXT DOOR – So let me get this straight? Teen dork gets to take porn star to prom, plus has sex with her in a limo? Dreams do come true.
42. VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA – Two of the hottest women in film, Scarlet Johansson and Penelope Cruz, get it on while getting some photos developed.
41. GHOST – Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze try to start a new craze… pottery sex!
40. HE GOT GAME – The scene has a basketball prospect with two hot sorority girls who try to help him make his decision about which college he should go to.
39. THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT – Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore (again) have some wild, crazy sex scenes in this wonderful film. Here’s the catch…she is really a lesbian who is in a long term relationship with Annette Bening.
38. THE BEGUILED – Clint Eastwood in a very strange film. He is a Union soldier being treated in the South. He ends up in a love triangle with an older woman who runs the house and her young protege, that includes a dream threesome.
37. THE AMERICAN – George Clooney plays a hitman in Italy and falls for a sexy hooker. He does a certain sex act to her that I’m not sure most clients do with their “lady of the night”.
36. BOUND – This movie sort of has a lesbian Bonnie & Clyde feel to it. Watching the first sex scene between the two lovers is a real eye opener. The directors of this movie went on to direct the Matix movies. Huh!
35. ORGINAL SIN – Antonio Banderas buys a mail order bride, but gets more than he paid for in Angelina Jolie. At times this movie takes a back seat to their sex scenes.
34. BOYS DON’T CRY – Hilary Swank won an Oscar for playing a woman pretending to be a man. This movie has a sex scene that makes you wonder…when does sex between two women become Hetero?
33. DESPERADO – When bullets aren’t flying, Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek end up having an intense sex scene in this action movie.
32. BODY OF EVIDENCE – This movie isn’t about Madonna’s bad acting. This movie is about how she poured hot wax all over Willem Dafoe.
31. RISKY BUSINESS – People remember Tom Cruise in his underwear, but it’s the sex scene that should be remembered. He has sex on a train with a beautiful hooker (man, Hollywood loves its hookers).
30. GREAT EXPECTIONS – It’s the build up that leads to the sex. Boy meets girl, wants girl, chases girl. The sketch scene is so beautiful. Gwyneth Paltrow has never been hotter.
29. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE – Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange have a steamy affair in this remake. I don’t think they even make it to the bed.
28. THE BIG EASY – Ellen Barkin and Dennis Quaid really know how to spice things up in New Orleans. These two look like they had done this once or twice before.
27. FATAL ATTRACTION – The movie that scared married men to death. The sex scene in this film involves a kitchen sink. No bunnies were harmed in the making of this.
26. EYES WIDE SHUT – Yes, the orgy scene in the mansion is the most talked about…however I believe the most intense sex scene doesn’t even happen. Tom Cruise rides in a taxi and imagines Nicole Kidman cheating on him with another man.
25. VANILLA SKY – Guys? We have all had sex with a crazy woman once or twice in our lives. Cameron Diaz is as crazy as it gets here. Even knowing how crazy her character is, this sex scene almost makes it ok.
24. AMERICAN PYSCHO – Yuppie serial killer Patrick Bateman has a threesome with two sexy ladies, but all he cares about is how he looks in the mirror. And remember, don’t touch the watch.
23. OUT OF SIGHT – The chemistry between Clooney and Lopez is red hot. One of the most sophisticated love scenes ever filmed.
22. MR. & MRS. SMITH – Every couple has wanted to do this at some moment in a relationship. They fight and then have amazing sex. I think everyone who saw this scene back in 2005 all said the same thing…those two are soooooo doing it for real!
21. MONSTER’S BALL – This sex scene is more depressing than exciting. Halle Berry has lost her son and Billy Bob Thorton is a racist. They are two sad people using sex to forget their troubles. That’s why the scene works.
20. UNFAITHFUL – Diane Lane should have won an Oscar for her shaking. Her first sex scene with her lover is so good, she recalls it from memory on the ride back to see her husband.
19. DON’T LOOK NOW – The sex scene between Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie was rumored to be real. It’s a creepy 1970′s film, but the sex scene between a husband and wife, who are going their separate ways, is one of the best.
18. 9 ½ WEEKS – Blindfolds, ice, food, etc. I lost track of what else is used in the sex scenes between Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger.
17. WILD THINGS – Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell and Denise Richards in a memorable sex scene. The only thing holding this scene back is Matt Dillon’s character won’t shut the hell up.
16. MEET JOE BLACK – Not a great movie, but a great sex scene. Dare I even say, love scene? Sex with Death? The girl is ok with it since Death looks like Brad Pitt.
15. TOP GUN – We all know the scene. Everything is in blue light, Take My Breath Away plays, Cruise and McGillis do some tonsil boxing.
14. TAKING LIVES – A really kinky sex scene. So kinky that we find out she, Angelina Jolie, has just had sex with a serial killer, Ethan Hawke. Once again, bad movie, great sex scene.
13. BLACK SWAN – Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis porn up a classy movie. Some heavy makeout leads to Kunis going down on Portman. Kunis wiping her chin at the end is a nice touch.
12. THE HUNGER – Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve combine lesbianism with vampirism. It’s a pretty graphic scene for 1983.
11. BASIC INSTINCT – The famous scene of Sharon Stone uncrossing her legs is not even close to the naughtiest thing in Basic Instinct. She and Michael Douglas have scene in bed together than makes you wonder what was going on off camera.
10. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN – The movie scene that made you question going on that camping trip with your best pal. That first scene of rough tent sex, turns into a beautiful love story. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall gave fantastic performances in this film.
9. AMERICAN BEAUTY – Annette Bening’s legs in opposite directions as she gets plowed by a guy who is not her husband. It’s actually a very funny scene.
8. TITANIC – Leo and Kate make a cute young couple doing it for the first time. My only question is…how fogged up can car windows get?
7. LAST TANGO IN PARIS – Marlon Brando sticks butter up a girl’s ass. I wonder if that’s how it was written in the script?
6. BOOGIE NIGHTS – Amber Waves (damn Julianne Moore!) teaches young Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg) what to do in a porno. No money shot!?
5. DEAD CALM – Nicole Kidman must have sex with an insane man in order to survive on her boat. The ripping of her jean shorts is a classic move.
4. LAUREL CANYON – Extremely sexy scene, if you can get over the fact that in this movie a mother and her future daughter-in-law almost have a threesome. Kate Beckinsale at her sexiest.
3. MULHOLLAND DRIVE – Still haven’t figured out what this film is about. What I do know is that Naomi Watts and Laura Harring have one of the most beautiful love scenes together.
2. BODY HEAT – William Hurt and Kathleen Turner sizzle. No really, they sizzle. There is so much sweat in this movie that their sex scenes needed to be in the shower.
1. A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE – This is the greatest sex scene ever! And I’m not even counting the one where they show them in a 69. The best scene of all time is Maria Bello and Viggo Mortensen having angry, hate sex on the stairs.