I’ll just put it out there because I know you all are thinking it! The difference between you all and I is that I do not fear the wrath of cokey former models!
(OK, maybe Naomi Campbell!)
That’s right, folks! Janice Dickinson is getting married and the first question on my mind was…
“Is it legal to marry Tupperware?!”
Because she’s only human by a strand of hair. Surely more than 80% of her body is plasticized by now? Whatever the percentage, some human man has been duped into getting on his knees and proposing to this crazed piece of rubber!
After three months of licking on her plastic tittyballs and other fake body parts, Robert Gerner has popped the question to Dickinson. And of course, she said yes. I mean, why not? What else does she have to do?! Here’s what she had to say about the impending nuptials:
“I intend to make Rocky the happiest man in the world for the rest of his life. I couldn’t be happier right now. Oh! And our wedding is going to make Brad and Angelina’s look like a trip to city hall!”
Well, that answers that. She is obviously getting married just to have a huge wedding as the last hurrah before her plastic melts for the last time!
Ha ha ha! Silly PlayDoh woman-thing! Brad and Angelina aren’t getting married!