They’ve dropped the ball before when it comes to their annual Sexiest Man Alive list, but now? Now? They’ve dropped the ball in the most un-holiest of ways. Just when I thought Ryan Gosling would get the coveted spot on their cover this year, it is being reported by none other than The Huffington Post that Magic Mike star Channing Tatum will be named People’s Sexiest Man Alive when it is released in a couple of weeks. This is a slap to mankind and an outright triumph for people that suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
I’ve always considered Carol Channing Tatum O’Neal the mimbo of Hollywood, the boytoy to in the closet celebrities, the buffoon in every movie that he plays, and more or less…I think I’ve been right on the money. Now, the squinty-eyed alleged thespian is joining the ranks of Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, and Bradley Cooper (where the downturn truly began) by gracing the cover. And I have lots to say about this, but first these three words…
What the f*ck?!!
How many Hollywood honchos have had their peens cleaned and swallowed for him to get on this list?! From the neck down, it’s definitely a home run, but that face? It’s just that side of busted with eyes so close together he can cry and drown his nose!
I demand a recount!!