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Celebrity VIP Lounge

Celebrity Gossip Heard All Over The Web

amanda-bynes-pink-hair-mugshot

Amanda Bynes Is Not the Next Coming of Lindsay Lohan!

This according to her father, Rick Bynes. The father of the puffy faced former/unemployed actress is telling anyone that will listen to his daughter is not headed for Lindsay Lohan country.

“She was not drunk,” Rick Bynes tells PEOPLE. “I was told that she blew a zero on the Breathalyzer. She didn’t have a single drink that night. My daughter doesn’t drink. “She was upset and very emotional.”

She should be upset and emotional. At her age, she’s damn near over before she ever really began. The love child of Jennifer Coolidge was probably advised by her manager to pick up an addiction real quick for some free publicity. Perhaps she took it a little too far and was too convincing.

Attention casting agents:
Amanda Bynes is a true thespian of unparalleled caliber!

But if Amanda isn’t drinking at 26 years of age, then she should start! For a plethora of reasons, but I’ll be brief. First of all, she is unemployed since forever. She has no man and more importantly, no MENZ. Her hair is some botched color that is not even created in the universe. She certainly looks like the second coming of Strawberry Snortcake. I could go on and on about this trick. But, I’m gonna throw this dog and bone, go out on a limb and declare her sober at the time of the incident. Maybe she wasn’t drunk. Perhaps she was just…

incoxicated!

Her father said she wasn’t a drunk, but he never said she wasn’t a slut. Everyone that knows Amanda Bynes (and let’s be frank here, that’s not so many people) knows of her penchant for chocolate peen, so maybe she swallowed so much *cough* Kahlua in the club that night that she got drunk by heaux osmosis?

Anything is possible!

Triston – who has written 854 posts on Celebrity VIP Lounge.


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