The divorce of Tina and Joe Simpson, the parents of the world’s most talented girls since Zsa Zsa and Eva Gabor has been finalized. Now that Joe Simpson is a free man, he can chase after the best glory holes, truck stops, and bath houses on earth. Of course, if you ask Joe, there is no glory in any of this, he is straight, dammit, and we are all haters haters haters!
The proof is in the panty pudding, because since the two have been separated, Joe has been looking less manly and more like Ellen DeGeneres’ slightly butcher sister. No word yet on who got what in the split, but assuredly he let Tina have at last one of the dildos?
Have a heart, Joe!
additional reporting: A. Neff King