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Celebrity VIP Lounge

Celebrity Gossip Heard All Over The Web

Perez Hilton Thinks He’s Hot. I Have News For Him

Suddenly, I have a taste for crispy bacon, don’t you?

There’s only so much that lipo/MAACO paint/laxatives/Toni & Guy/PhotoShop can do. Eventually, one must come out into the (semi) real world and show the normal people what you really look like. Having said that, maybe Perez Hilton should have remained in his cave where he dishes on celebrities in the most acidic nature. With photos like this, commentary would not even be necessary, but my job is to dish, no matter how charred and overcooked the specimen is served.

Sporting a look only a Bobblehead aficionado could love, Perez Hilton showed off his new body at Logo’s NewNowNext Awards. I know what some of you are thinking…

“Wow, The Crypt Keeper looks great!”

No, if this were indeed a skeleton come back to life it would be fabulous. But no, heauxz! This is (allegedly) a young man that has been battling the flab for as long as Lindsay Lohan has been battling the crack pipe. Well, it finally looks like Lohan has passed her pipe on in that relay race of f*ckery, because this has hot ass mess written all over it.

ALL over it.

Because…since when was it hot to look like a dehydrated Oompa Loompa? Since when was it hot to dress like an extra from a Village People video? Do not steal this look. Do not pass go!

Just say no!